I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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