I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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