ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
