My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
