My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
