well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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