i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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