don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
