I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize