you will always have a special place in my vag
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
