That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
