she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
