i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
