508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
