nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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