Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
