just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
you made out with another girl for some wings
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
