I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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