he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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