my mouth tastes like poor choices
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
