He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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