im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
