then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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