I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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