Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
