Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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