READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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