She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
