Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
