i think my tv is drunk
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
