don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
