sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
