This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
