If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
