Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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