Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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