my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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