I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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