Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
