The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize