I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize