Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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