I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
