I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
