I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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