He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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