I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
even my farts smell like vagina
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
