paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
