I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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