It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
