Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
