I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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