i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
