Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
honey bunches of taint.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Randomize
