Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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