Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
