Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
