kristin has been a bad kristin
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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