ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize