Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
