One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
