apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
