I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
