glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
